well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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