I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
