How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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