I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
