She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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