I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Barsexuality is the new black.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
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she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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