now i know why i became what i already was.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
