Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
