Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
