i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
is it fun? or sober?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize