If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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