I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
