farters have to be the big spoon...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
