goodnight i made you a song goodbye
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
