I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
