The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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