why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
