They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
