i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize