Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
