Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
