eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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