she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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