someone get that fucking seahorse.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
