Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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