I hate your face
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
