College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's just like the Real World with babies
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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