So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize