yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
