There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
