I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
