I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
