Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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