What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
