Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
