i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
