Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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