Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.