hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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