Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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