In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
