I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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