what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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