I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Floor bacon is actually really good
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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