She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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