I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
