After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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