How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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