Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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