i think i have herpe
just one?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
