No stitches, just platelets and will power
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
