why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What a dumb baby whore.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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