how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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