I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
