A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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