Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
