The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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