talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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