Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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