MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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