just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i think i scared a bird with my dick
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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